The Inner Stories We Tell Ourselves

Part 3 of the Mindset Reset: From Survival to Rebuild Thinking 

Why Inner Stories Matter

The most powerful voice in your life isn’t always the one spoken out loud. It’s the quiet narrative you carry in your head — the inner story that tells you who you are, what you deserve, and what’s possible.These stories often start as survival strategies. They protect us when life unravels. But if we never stop to examine them, they can quietly shape the way we rebuild. Sometimes they move us forward. Other times, they hold us back.

My Story: Believing “I’m Fine”

 Here’s a surprising truth about inner stories: they can be deceiving. When I lost my job suddenly, I told myself a story on repeat: Nothing has really changed. I’m still the same capable person. This firing is just one chapter in the bigger book of my life. That story carried me for a while. It helped me push through the shock and keep sending out résumés. But then came the interviews — and with them, a level of anxiety I couldn’t explain away.

 The truth was, my body and mind were sending signals I didn’t want to acknowledge. I was so intent on getting back to where I had been that I ignored what those anxious feelings were telling me: I wasn’t meant to just pick up where I left off. I was being invited to rebuild, not return.

The Psychology of Stories

 Psychologists call this narrative identity — the way we shape our experiences into stories that explain our lives. Research shows that these personal narratives don’t just describe our past; they also define our future path. (APA overview on narrative identity) Brené Brown has a phrase for this: “The story I’m telling myself.” It’s a reminder that the narrative running in your mind isn’t always fact — it’s interpretation. And interpretation can be shifted.

Common Inner Stories

 Some stories are obviously negative:

• “I’ll never recover from this.” 

• “If I stop moving, everything will fall apart.”

 Others sound strong on the surface:

• “I’m fine. Nothing has really changed.” 

• “I just need to get back to normal.”

 Both types can limit us. The negative stories can trap us in hopelessness. The “strong” stories can blind us to what we actually need. Either way, when stories go unexamined, they keep us in survival mode.

Shifting the Story

 The good news is this: stories aren’t permanent. They can be rewritten.

 Try this simple practice:

1. Notice — Write down the story you keep repeating.

2. Name — Ask: Is this story keeping me safe, or is it keeping me stuck? 

3. Reframe — What’s a truer, kinder version of this story?

4. Reinforce — Keep that new version visible (in your journal, on a sticky note, or saved as a phone reminder).

 When you rewrite your inner story, you create space for a rebuild that fits the life you’re actually living now — not just the life you lost.

The Shift In Focus

The inner stories we tell ourselves are powerful. They’re the scripts that shape how we see ourselves and how we rebuild. But when you pause to notice them, name them, and rewrite them, you take back authorship of your future.

  👉 Want to go deeper? The full expanded version of this post is available on Substack, with more stories, research, and reflection prompts to support your shift.

 👉 Read the full version on Substack

 ✨ Next week in Part 4: Anchors for the Everyday Mind. We’ll explore the small, steady practices that help rebuild thinking stick.